Anyway: Vance, Rubio, defence secretary Pete Hegseth – they all have a pair. Of shoes. I can’t comment on the other, but let’s just say they’re about as likely to have the balls to stand up to Trump as they are to bin off the greasy pole of politics and risk it all in pursuit of excellence in competitive ice dancing. Certainly they would like you to deny the evidence of your own eyes and agree that there is absolutely nothing obviously emasculating about your boss buying your shoes and you having to wear them even though they don’t fit and make you look stupid. As one White House official told the Wall Street Journal: “It’s hysterical because everybody’s afraid not to wear them.” So everybody’s a goody two-shoes.