Because I’ve lived in a different country from her for longer than we lived together, her voice on the phone and the way she says things are a massive part of how I have experienced that love throughout my adult life. She has several phrases she always says, which feel like facets of the same well-polished gem. She tells me to keep short accounts – that is, to forgive easily. If I’m down (she always knows before I’ve told her), she tells me that it’s just a temporary loss of perspective. She often insists that I buy myself some flowers and “smell the daisies”.