And so I embarked upon my tried-and-tested routine for dealing with vaguely troubling symptoms: 1. Pretend it’s not there. 2. Acknowledge it is. 3. Convince myself it’s growing. 4. Get a loved one to take a photo of it. 5. Examine photo, gagging slightly. 6. Send to doctor friend, who says go to GP. 7. Forget about it. 8. Remember it. 9. Try and fail to get GP appointment. 10. Forget about it again. 11. Remember it again. 12. Try harder to get GP appointment and therefore succeed.