If boyfriends are embarrassing, having a husband is probably worse; the most beige, normie commitment. I’m used to being an embarrassment – I parented two teenagers – but it’s a blow as bad as skinny jeans being declared unacceptable. I hardly ever mention my spouse online, since he thinks social media is the opium of the intellectually feeble, but maybe I should erase him entirely, Trotsky-style, from my Insta grid?